Children's Health is Important too.
They have Nutritional Needs and Emotional Needs
You may like to consider the Following Advice
The Problem with Overpraising Children
by Dr. Lisa Firestone
Research has shown
that there are positive effects of praising children, but it depends on what
kind of praise we’re dishing out. A recent Stanford study
of toddlers showed that “praising effort,
not talent, leads to greater motivation and more positive attitudes toward
challenges” down the road. These findings are consistent with previous
research, which has connected praise with increased motivation in children, but
only when it is based on real attributes. As one study
posed, “Provided that praise is perceived as sincere, it is
particularly beneficial to motivation when it encourages performance
attributions to controllable causes, promotes autonomy, enhances competence
without an overreliance on social comparisons, and conveys attainable standards
The problem with
many parents hoping to boost their child’s self-esteem isn’t that they’re
praising; it’s that they’re overpraising. Too often in today’s competitive
world, we focus on children’s “greatness” to define who they are and make
exaggerated statements that fail to reflect their true abilities. According to
lead researcher of the Stanford Study Prof. Carol S. Zweck, statements like,
“‘You’re great, you’re amazing’ [are] not helpful, because later on, when
[children] don’t get it right or don’t do it perfectly, they’ll think they
aren’t so great or amazing.”
about telling kids that everything they do is terrific. A real sense of
self-worth is based on the skills they build for themselves and the true
accomplishments they feel they’ve made. However, many parents have the tendency
to build up their kids with false or exaggerated statements. For example,
instead of saying, “What a creative painting! You really worked hard on that,”
they may say something like, “Wow! What a wonderful artist you are! You’re so
talented! You’re the best painter I’ve ever seen.” Most parents do this innocently
in an effort to make their kids feel good about themselves.
Affects of Over-Parenting Children
by Dr. Lisa Firestone
It does seem that in
trying to help our children avoid potential danger, we are over-scheduling
their lives and depriving them of the kinds of experiences that we enjoyed when
we were young. However, there are other powerful unconscious forces operating
that are driving parents to restrict their children’s freedom of movement,
ostensibly out of concern for their safety. Understanding these factors could
In our work at
the Glendon Association
a nonprofit psychological organization that provides parent education programs,
we have come to recognize that many well-meaning parents overprotect their
children, see them as less competent than they really are, and overstep their
boundaries because they (the parents) feel connected to them through a process
Dr. Robert Firestone calls the fantasy bond
. In this imagined connection with their
children, parents partly relieve their own fears of aloneness, separation, and
death – the ultimate separation. In their minds, they feel merged with their
children, while in reality, they may not be fully present in their interactions
with them. These parents cherish the feeling of being needed by their kids, but
actually they are not relating to them as unique, separate individuals.
The origins of the
fantasy bond can be traced to infancy or early childhood. It arises to cope
with interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and this imagined connection is
reinforced when children learn about death. Even before they discover death,
children use this fantasy of being merged with mother, along with primitive
self-soothing behaviors, to partly relieve their pain and to avoid the
possibility of being overwhelmed by the intensity of their reactions to
separation experiences and other disturbing events.
The fantasy bond
serves as a survival mechanism during childhood, but paradoxically becomes a
barrier to one’s personal development as an adult. Later, as people mature,
marry and have children of their own, they develop fantasy bonds with their
children to varying degrees, and the cycle is continued into the next
Is Your Technology Use Hurting Your Kids?
by Dr. Lisa Firestone
A recent study of families in fast food restaurants showed
that 70 percent of parents were distracted by their devices during their meal.
In the meantime, their children complained and misbehaved, throwing tantrums
and even food at their parents. The usage of smart phones has overwhelmed the
population, with people barely able to make it through dinner without texting,
tweeting or surfing online. The problem is that checking in on Facebook often
means checking out of whatever interaction you might have with the person
sitting right across the table. In the face of such monumental distraction,
we’re forced to ask how this will affect the next generation.
From the get-go, babies need the attention of their parents,
not just to survive but to thrive. Parenting an infant doesn’t just mean
meeting his or her needs by providing food, clothing and diaper changes.
Results from the still-face experiments led by famous child development
researchers in the 1970s highlighted the potentially harmful emotional, social
and developmental impact when a mother stops responding to her baby with
appropriate facial expressions. Since then, other studies have further shown that
affect mirroring, in which the mother interacts with her child with high levels
of “attention maintenance, sensitivity and responsiveness” resulted in babies
that ranked “high on prosocial behaviors and social expectancy, whereas infants
whose mothers ranked low on affect mirroring ranked low on these measures.”
Think about the blank stare you give your cell phone. How often might your baby
be looking to you for a response when your own face is non-expressive or
clearly reacting to something else?
Children seek contingent responses. They start mirroring
parents’ facial expressions almost as soon as they’re born. They stare into
their caretaker’s eyes, looking for a reaction. This response is what enables
their brains to fire and wire. An attuned response from a parent or caretaker
allows them to feel both seen and secure, while also helping them to formulate
their own social skills. A lack of response (perhaps from parents who are
persistently on their devices), could lead to ruptures in their attachment patterns.
Attachment styles are built in early childhood attachments and later serve as
working models for adult relationships. A person’s model of attachment
influences how he or she goes about getting his or her needs met. Children who
are ignored or not responded to (as in the still-face experiment) or whose
parents are often mis-attuned may form less-than-ideal attachments that will
hurt them in their later lives.
Sadly, parents who are distracted by their devices are
hardly attuned to their children. They may very well miss the hurtful effect
they are having by ignoring their child’s emotions. They may even be hurting
the child’s self-esteem. In interviews, children expressed feelings of being
boring, because they are unable to compete with smart phones for their parents’
attention. Their feeling toward the phones waiver between hostility (calling
them “dumb” phones) and desire (competing with parents for the phone itself).
The children observed in the fast-food study became considerably agitated,
growing rowdier and misbehaving to turn their parent’s attention. And what do
parents often do in response to their child’s frustration? Unfortunately, they
tend to hand their child the device, teaching them, in turn, to de-tune and
disconnect, just as they have been doing.
2012, In Vaccine Truth, by Angela C
Informed Mother shares her Research
Shortly after getting a positive pregnancy test, modern
American families are flung into the midst of an ongoing battle regarding the
future health of their children. For mothers who give birth in the hospital,
one of the first things they will be asked to do is sign a consent form
permitting the hospital to inoculate their newborn baby against a form of
sexually transmitted hepatitis. Due to pressure from hospital staff,
pediatricians, and social workers parents are often uninformed on the actual
risks of vaccination and unaware of the fact that they do have the right to
make an informed decision regarding when and if their child will be vaccinated.
The truth is that vaccinations are risky at best. Recently,
talk show host, Dr. Ward Bond and homeopathic practitioner, Robert Scott Bell
sat down to talk about the facts behind these dangerous vaccinations.
Vaccines operate as dangerous serums that set us on a path
of dependence to pharmaceuticals for life by weakening our natural immunity and
making us far more susceptible to illness. As a result, the vaccinated need to
see the doctor more and require more antibiotics, so on and so forth.
There is substantial evidence to support the belief that
vaccines set us on a path of destruction. Recent studies have shown that
children who receive vaccinations have 200-500% more chronic illnesses in life
than non-vaccinated children. Furthermore, recent outbreaks of common childhood
illnesses amongst vaccinated populations show that these inoculations are not
nearly as effective as we have been led to believe.
Simple biology provides us with a good deal of evidence
against routine vaccination, especially when it comes to young children.
Children have an immature immune system before the age of two. The use of
vaccinations in children this young and with such a high level of doses alters
the child’s natural immunity and neurological conditioning in a dangerous way.
Of the dozens of vaccines that children are routinely
exposed to, four stand out from the crowd as being the most controversial. One
of these is the polio vaccine
, which uses an inactivated strand of polio to create
an immune reaction in young children. Despite the fact that polio was once a
widespread and dangerous disease, expert studies show that it was on the
decline when the vaccination was introduced. As with the natural ebb and flow
of epidemics, it likely would have faded out as more people became exposed and
immune. Furthermore, even at its height most individuals who acquired polio
showed no symptoms at all. Serious, paralytic illness was only found in around
1% of cases. There is a chance that the vaccination does not do anything to
actually prevent polio, but instead we just developed a natural immunity as a
Another controversial vaccine
due to heavy indications that ingredients used in its
development may contribute to the dramatic increase in autism over the last two
decades is the MMR shot. This combination shot is meant to prevent measles,
mumps, and rubella. Children receive one dose soon after their first birthday,
followed by two subsequent “boosters” in early childhood. The multiple shots
are required since the child’s still-developing immune system will fight them
off if not routinely exposed. Yet in a recent outbreak of mumps, over 70% of
victims were previously vaccinated using this exact concoction. Though makers
of the drug reluctantly admit a small failure rate, it is nowhere near 70%.
Statistics like these certainly leave skeptics wondering if vaccinations of
this type are of any value at all.
Yet another inoculation that is prescribed at birth, though
there is no indication that it is necessary in the average American home is the
hepatitis B shot. Though the odds of a child developing hepatitis B, a disease
typically spread through dirty needles and promiscuous sex, as an infant are
extremely rare, the vaccine is associated with a risk of irreversible brain
damage in some children.
Finally, we come to the HPV vaccine. This vaccine is being
heavily marketed all over the country right now as a way to prevent cervical
cancer. Children as young as twelve years of age may obtain the HPV vaccine in
certain parts of the country without their parent’s consent. However, it has
been shown to have numerous dangerous side effects, such as chronic seizures, brain
damage, and even death. Yet many researchers question if the virus is even
inherently related to cervical cancer as the American people are being led to
It is critical that parents study the dangerous side effects
associated with common childhood vaccinations and carefully weigh them against
the risk of disease. In many cases, you may come to find that a few weeks of
chickenpox or the measles is a small price to pay when it comes to potentially
avoiding a lifetime of debilitating neurological damage and illness.